Manners, Part II

So, after posting about "thank you" notes, and considering good manners vs. bad manners, it makes me wonder sometimes about the sincerity of polite behavior. Is it better to behave mannerly when you don't really mean it, or to just go on about your day avoiding or ignoring others...when maybe that's just the way you are? Maybe I should give an example to clarify what I'm pondering here.

Ok, so a person walks into the post office, stops (does not turn around), and holds the door for the person coming in behind. The door-holder does not smile, does not acknowledge the other person, does not make eye contact, and does not respond to the offered "thank you." Is this better than someone who just walks on through the door and lets the follower open his/her own door? I guess I'm curious as to whether there are people who publicly display "good manners," yet seem to give the act of being proper more credence than the purpose of the action: interacting more graciously and kindly with the people around you. Does the forced act of holding a door (because your mama taught you to!) outweigh the effort when you really just don't feel like opening the door? Should good manners be second-nature, or should they be consciously adhered to for the sake of doing what one SHOULD DO?

Somehow, I feel more comfortable living side-by-side in this world with the person who just doesn't open the door at all (I can open my own door!) than the person who opens it, and when I smile and thank him/her, the door-holder just turns away as if I weren't even there. Hold the door for me if you want to hold the door for me....but don't JUST do it because you think that's what is right. False and insincere manners are worse than no manners at all.

Manners

One of the things that I have always done is write "thank you" cards. I'd be lying if I said I did it unfailingly, every single time one was required, but on the whole it is a consideration that I endeavor to not overlook. Most of my friends from graduate school will tell you that I would almost always send a "thank you" note to whomever had hosted a party or dinner that weekend.....and, let me tell you, some of those parties were not your high-brow, sophisticated, academic affair that one might imagine graduate students studying English literature would engage in. Most of them were downright raucous and wild, usually ending with at least one person taking off their clothes and streaking the neighborhood, and there was almost always somebody who managed to make his way onto the roof of whatever establishment was hosting the shin-dig.

With that being said, the next day, immediately after I regained consciousness, remembered how I'd gotten home, washed my face and hair, kept down solid foods, and found my glasses, I always sat down and wrote the host/hostess a nice "thank you" on my Neiman Marcus monogrammed stationary....usually expressing my sincerities with a fountain pen, no less. Betty Draper's got nothing on me! Just because you can't always behave in a refined, elegant, sober, and well-behaved manner in public doesn't mean you can't at least carry on with the attempt to maintain some sense of class thereafter.

And, just in case you need a little refresher on how to compose nice, handwritten "thank you" messages, Southern Living has given us a crash course on this small gesture, returning to a time when people only talked behind your back and at least pretended to be well-bred and polite.

Squeeeeeze

My sister and her boyfriend recently traveled to Michigan for the weekend and they took their two dogs, Pumpkin and Pancakes, with them. When Pumpkin took up too much of the backseat of the car, Pancakes had to find an alternative sleeping position. Hence the picture, to the left, that Melissa texted to me on Friday. That is just ridiculous!

Snap, Crackle, Pop!

This happened to me 0n Wednesday. I schooled my disobedient horse for over an hour in a lesson....and he was being difficult and contrary....yet, the act of controlling a 1200-pound animal was the least of my challenges that day. Come to find out, simply walking through my front yard in my boots and breeches (which I LIVE IN on a regular basis) was just too much for my very complex and advanced sense of balance and coordination. I, essentially, walked through the grass, stepped on a rock, and rolled my left ankle so badly I could almost see the bottom of my foot! I can strut my stuff all day long in precarious 6-inch heels, yet my riding boots seem to be my downfall. FAIL!!!

Yuck

I have lost the battle with poison ivy.....just on my right side. Can't figure that out. It's all up and down my right arm and leg. Not one spot on my left side. Of course, saying that out loud is just inviting disaster.

The Basics

(pictured to the left: Eddie meditating on all the things he has learned so far this year.)

The title of this post (ab0ve) is, basically, what Eddie and I have been getting up to all year long. Back in 2005, I acquired a lovely, sweet, and "made-by-God-only-for-Holly" horse. He was 10-years-old and had a checkered past. Fortunately, for me and Eddie, my friend Kelly Wallace bought him a year or so before I got him, so he had a good start when he came to me. Unfortunately (for Kelly), I ended up on him as a result of a fall she had taken from him which broke her leg and left her looking for another mount.

In the time since Eddie and I were brought together, we had some good success at what we will tentatively call "eventing" (since we did compete in the equestrian discipline of eventing, we competed in USEA recognized events, we qualified for the USEA Area III championships - twice, we qualified for the USEA's AECs - twice, we are both registered competitors with the USEA, and we have lots of photographs and personal witnesses that can attest to the fact that we were, in fact, eventing....although I'm danged if I know how we could possibly be defined as eventers). Eddie and I miraculously completed and placed in a number of eventing competitions. Who'd of thought it? But, now that time and experience are on our side, I have decided that our backyard, unpolished, scrambling, and sometimes harrowing approach to the sport of eventing would temporarily stop on January 1, 2010. We have gone back and revisited the following aspects of our equestrianism and given them a long, hard, discerning (and disapproving) look: impulsion, collection, suppleness, ridability (hahaha!), correctness (at the walk, trot, canter, gallop, flatting, jumping, wearing a tutu...you name it), gymnastic exercises and balance over fences (big laugh, there), soft hands, soft back, strong legs, lightness, elasticity, a horse that moves into the bridle, a horse that is round and stretches over his topline, a horse that is willingly and capably engaging from the hindend. I could go on and on, but let's just stop there....for now. All of these things were seriously lacking and I cannot keep entering competitions, gassing up the truck, loading the trailer, and cleaning my tack (nevermind that final item) if we can't go back to the basics and start to fix some of the things that have been wrong in Eddie's training, my riding, and our partnership all these years.

So, things have been slow around here on the show front, but like the proverbial tortoise might have said (were he knowledgeable of our situation), "slow and steady-Eddie wins the race." We have many small victories that I will take as we build toward the grander victories that I believe we are destined for one day. Now, if I could just get him to trot through groundpoles without leaping over all 3 of them at once, we might get somewhere.

Summer 2010

In case you're wondering what I've been doing all this time while neglecting my blog, the picture to the left pretty much sums it up. When we're not eventing......this is what eventers do. Boat, beer, lake, best friends. Life is good!

Back from the Dead

No, I'm not talking about the Spinal Tap album of the same name. I'm talking about my absence from the blogging world. Facebook just keeps me way too entertained! Anyhoo, although my blog will be getting updated more frequently , that doesn't necessarily mean I'll have more important and compelling issues to discuss. But, at least I will have something to say. :-)