|Prince Benedict versus Prince Eric|
I know which one Ariel prefers.....
|The one and only.|
|I would really like to know just what this young lady|
plans to do with a tennis racket, lacrosse stick, and golf
clubs while hacking out.
|What is happening here? I have been known to take|
a last minute potty break in the corner of Eddie's stall,
but I usually disrobe -- to some extent -- first. Plus,
spurs and Mary Jane heels do not mix.
|Oh, that poor pony. Human lasso? I guess that's one|
way to catch a horse.
|Ladies, this is a "don't." Just.....no. Do not ever attempt to trail|
ride while wearing nothing more than boots and lingerie. I
am terrified to even begin to imagine the amount of chafing that
will be going on there.
|There is a time and place for a stylish and well-fitted|
shadbelly. That "time" and "place" would not, however,
involve satin shorts, red sheer tights, and suede
|Starting with the head, this might be an equestrian fashion|
"do." Yes, let's do retire the old velvet hunt caps to
recreational wear that doesn't involve actually being
on the back of a horse. But, once the eye travels
down past the shoulders, there is just too, too
much wrong, here. I like the grey tights, though.
|Stock tie? More like stock "noose." You catch that on a|
low branch while riding first-flight and you're a goner.
|How many eventers do you see accessorize to quite|
this extent while riding cross-country? Yeh, me neither. Plus,
if you do actually manage to place (and not get eliminated for
riding with an unsecured helmet strap), the ribbon goes on your
horse, not on your belt.
|That coat looks like a wooly blanket that is belted with something borrowed|
from Captain Hook's wardrobe. Or Santa Claus's. Never ride a horse swathed
like this, unless you're after a "cushion effect" to soften the blow when you
inevitably dismount unexpectedly. Then, maybe this would work.
But fashion, it is not.
|Finally, an equestrian fashion "do"! You want to dress in equestrian style|
and emulate the late, great Jackie O? Then buy a safe horse, take some lessons,
acquire the proper attire, and enter a horse show. All other pretenders
can go home and try again another day.