Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Dear Santa...

My friend, Lauren, sent this out. Hilarious (if you're a rider...particularly if you're an eventer). The concept of using fancy tack to distract from my "awkwardness" is so familiar. Eddie would love it if I embraced the mantra "don't jump up the neck/don't jump up the neck/don't jump up the neck." To all my fellow eventers....Enjoy!

Dear Santa,
I've been really good this year. I've been doing all the things my trainer tells me to do, even if I do feel like a pretzel sometimes. I read the 2009 USEA Rulebook, or at least the good parts (those diagrams in the Appendix are works of art!). I tell my horse I love him every day, even though I really don't love him when he dumps me in the water, or drops a shoulder at monsters in the bushes, or bolts like a giraffe as soon as we enter at A. I've been practicing really hard driving the truck and trailer, and I only got stuck twice and haven't even jack-knifed this season! I know I'm on the Nice list this year, because if I was on the Naughty list I would have killed the cat for peeing on my white fullseats. The vet said he will live for sure, though perhaps with a slight limp.

I know the economic times are tough this year, and the EPA is all over you for your reindeer's methane expulsion, but I just thought I'd mail you this letter in case you could send a couple things my way. I didn't know your email, or twitter, and I couldn't find your facebook page to stalk you, so I hope this old-fashioned postal method still works.

A Charles Owen GR8 Helmet. Everybody who's anybody is wearing them nowadays, and they just scream "I'M WINNING ROLEX." I hear they fit well, too, but I hope it doesn't mess up my hair. I do need a new helmet this year, since my old one isn't quite round anymore, after that incident with the wild turkeys. Who knew they could fly? My horse sure didn't. Maybe I should add saddle-tite to this list, just in case

New Studs. I know I asked for these last year, and I thank you for them. But, you see, I lost more of them again this summer. They're always disappearing, you know, like socks. Never a matching pair to be found.

A Mattes Sheepskin Pad. My horse says his back would feel sooo much better and he'd never buck me off again if he could wear a yummy, fuzzy, soft dead sheep under his saddle. And it looks cool.

A New Stock Tie. Unfortunately, I was unable to get the bloodstain out of my old one, and it's a bit unsightly. I tried Oxyclean and everything, it just doesn't work anymore without Billy Mays. Note to self: don't jump up the neck, don't jump up the neck, don't jump up the neck...perhaps I should have this phrase embroidered on the new tie?

A 5-point Breastplate. My perfectly custom-made, expensive French saddle just doesn't quite look "finished" enough with a hunting breastplate. This new-fangled strap design will allow my horse complete freedom of his limbs, hopefully compensating for my awkwardness. And it would be nice to securely anchor my seat to the horse's chest, in case we end up lost in the Himalayas. Can't be too prepared. It's all about safety, you know.

Thanks again Santa, I hope these things aren't too much to ask. Please enjoy your milk and apple slices--I left ten pieces, so you can also share with the deer. I had made some tasty chocolate chip cookies, but the dog got on the table and cleaned your plate. He's on the naughty list....don't leave him anything.

Merry Christmas!

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Do You Believe?

For anyone who can watch a college football game and think that it's just a bunch of nameless faces, wearing numbers, like little mechanical dots on a field...then I challenge you to look at these photos and tell me that coach doesn't care about those kids. I particularly appreciate the picture with Jonathan Crompton, which - to me - epitomizes the "miraculous change" that he showed in his playing earlier this season. It was no miracle...he just needed someone to believe in him. Thanks, Coach Kiffen, for coming to Tennessee, for believing in all those players, and for making football a "game" again. Go Vols!!!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009


I don't care who it is, when they can't play by the rules off the field, then they don't need to be allowed back on the field. That's the only way some people will learn. Thanks, Coach K, for standing by your word that these kids will be held accountable for their actions on the field, off the field, and in the classroom. Tough love, but somebody's gotta do it.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Oh, no....

This article makes me rather embarassed to be from Knoxville. Doesn't Huckabee look somewhat like Quagmire from Family Guy in that picture? Hahaha! "Giggity."

Monday, November 2, 2009

He Ain't Done Yet!!!!

I have la-la-la-loved Brett Favre for ages and ages. I have stayed rather distant from comment regarding his departure from GB, his stint with the Jets, and now his place in Minnesota (I love Purple and Yellow!!!). I know people have said "not nice" things about his recent career decisions, but -- quite frankly -- sometimes, 40-year-old men DON'T always make good decisions. Am I right?

I think Brett should play as long as he wants to, for whomever he wants, and I'll always be here to turn on the tv and watch him play...All. Day. Long. :-) Go Vikings!!! (Wow...I haven't said THAT since I was, oh, 16 or 17 years old!).

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Yay for King!!!

I saw this news article today in King College News. This is impressive!!!


Wednesday, October 7, 2009

I'll have YOU....

I want one!!!! Just don't tell Orson. He thinks he's my little teacup pig. :-)


Thursday, October 1, 2009

Hello, Eskimoes!!!

Well, it's finally here! Snow Patrol tomorrow night at the Ryman Auditorium. Plus, we've got great seats and I can't wait, can't wait, can't wait!!! "I find the map and draw a straight line/Over rivers, farms, and state lines/The distance from here to where you'd be/It's only finger-lengths that I see."

Friday, September 25, 2009


Wow, it has been a long time since I've updated my blog...and I used to be so good at it! Damn you Facebook for giving me an immediate outlet for reaching out to my friends in a more frequent and constant manner! I promise I will be better about not neglecting my blog and sharing EVEN MORE fascinating and compelling material than I have before. And that's saying something. :-) Everybody have a good weekend! Kelsey, good luck in Middleburg and to all my Tennessee peeps...GO VOLS!!!!

Thursday, August 13, 2009


This was a front-page news item on our Knoxville paper's web site today. I guess it's better that this is news and they don't have some major tragedy to report.


Wednesday, June 24, 2009


This site is pretty funny! Especially since my sister and I get such a kick out of some really ridiculous family photos we've participated in (both willingly and unwillingly) over the years. Kelsey, you will also love this, I'm sure (if only because the word "awkward" is in the site title, and it so aptly describes much of what is on this web page). Indulge!!!

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Wednesday, May 13, 2009



I wonder if this "lost" script was really "trashed" or if this little publicity stunt wasn't...um..."scripted." Anna Kendrick better look out! If she did dump the New Moon script, she might get booted from Eclipse!!!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009


I'm sure my sister is crazy excited about this!!! Movie #3, out now on DVD!!!


Thursday, May 7, 2009

Just like the Jeffersons...

My alma mater, King College, is attempting to move on up!


Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Exotic Knoxville

I've been to this chocolate and coffee shop several times (they have lavender and lemon-flavored artisan chocolates "spray painted" in my cross-country colors!!!), but I've never had their coffee. I'm not sure about this. Knoxville may be becoming a hip, trendy metropolis afterall. Or, it's at least trying. :-)


Monday, May 4, 2009

Good people

We read all the time in the news about all the bad in our world, so here's a little bit of the good!


Friday, April 10, 2009

Work it!

Vicky is havin' to dig deep to keep the Beckham flame alive in the U.S. Becks should have left her a LOOONNGGG time ago. DB, you are BETTER than this!


Thursday, April 9, 2009


If I had a kid, it would totally dance like this. I've seen grown men who don't have these kind of moves. Suh-WEET!

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

What a shame!

One minute you're a pop star dressed like a pineapple, the next minute you've got a cut lip and a broken "dental implant." My, my...what is this world coming to?


Tuesday, March 31, 2009


Kelsey, you are totally getting this cake for your birthday next month!! How perfect is this?

Bigfoot like cake. Bigfoot no need fork eat cake...Bigfoot eat cake with hands and utensil made of small rabbit bone. Pleaz no give Bigfoot shiz about icing and crumbs in fur.


Friday, March 20, 2009

Stay Class[ic]!!!

A big "Thank You" to the organizers of the five American events that are still offering the classic format CCI*. I will never do a one-star, but I love the fact that there are others out there who will not let the long-format three-day event die. The roots of our sport are so valuable and I am constantly appreciative of those who see this and fight to keep it alive, for the betterment of the sport of Eventing, as well as for the benefit of the riders and horses.


Thursday, March 19, 2009

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Get Well Soon!

I am so devastated to hear of this! Natasha Richardson has been one of my favorite actresses since I saw her portray Zelda Fitzgerald in a t.v. movie back when I was in college. This is so horrible and the mystery surrounding why she was "ok" one minute, then seriously injured the next is just unbelievable. I hope she can pull through!


Friday, March 6, 2009

Good Times

I loved watching the Vols make South Carolina look silly last night (on their own turf, no less). It was nice being on the business end of the stick, and not the receiving end. I'm much more enthusiastic about our SEC tournament chances now. If they can just play like that every game for the next month...who knows what might happen!!!


Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Something for Everyone!

This is not surprising to me at all! It's no Top Gear, but I guess it's a treat if you really like knives.


Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Realllllly bad

More bad news for TVA! As if the coal-ash spill wasn't horrifying enough...

How does this happen? I feel bad if I accidentally take a pen home in my purse from my office at an employee-owned engineering firm. These people were stealing from the government and from their neighbors!! I just don't understand our culture at all anymore.


Monday, March 2, 2009


If any of you (in the East Tennessee or Knoxville area) are interested, please contact the email listed in this message or let me know and I'll put you in touch with the person who sent this to me. I feel really bad for anyone who is losing a home and is having to give up their family pets.

Contact: Katherine at:
kjmorris74@yahoo. com

Thanks for your help spreading the word. Read their story below.

The story...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ------
------------ ----
This family has lost their home and the apartment does not allow dogs.
They are looking for a home for the two Labs. See below.

As many of you know, we are moving in just 2 weeks. Unfortunately, I have
still not been able to find a good home for Cookie and Coco .
We're not able to take our beloved doggies with us and I've been
desperately trying to find a home for both of them 'together'. They
were raised together and pine without each other. The Lab rescue have already
said that they would probably separate them, so this is my last resort.

Recently I tried to take Coco out in my car alone and she TOTALLY
refused to even get into the car without Cookie.....! !!! She absolutely
pulled back on her haunches until Cookie was by her side.Both doggies
are in great health, have been spayed and have ID chips implanted under
the skin.

Cookie turned 3 December 10th and Coco will be 3 April 1st. Cookie is
my mellow-yellow, and just loves her tummy rubbed. Coco is adorably
funny and lives for her "ball". She also loves the water..... Cookie
loves lots of attention. Both doggies are loyal and love to walk. They
have been raised with my 3 kids running around all over the place, and
have survived Sammy's constant hugging and love of 'dress-up', so
are fantastic family dogs. This is by far one of the most difficult
decisions I have ever had to make, but under the circumstances I have no

Please, Please forward these pics to all you know and help me find a
great home for these fabulous doggies. They are just adorable and it's
heartbreaking to let them go. In a perfect world, I hope that we could
find someone local so that we can still keep in touch and visit them.
I pray that someone, somewhere can help us keep Cookie and Coco
together, and love them just as much as we do. Thank you all from the
bottom of my heart.



My sister is definitely getting this cake for her birthday this year! How divinely realistic! Vintage Nintendo...only the best will do.


Monday, February 23, 2009

Kinda Obsessed...

I really didn't want to buy in. REALLY didn't want to. But, I caved, and I read. And now I'm hooked. I'm not so much into the story or the writing (eek), but I do like the characters. I'll give book 2 a go this week and see if the interest keeps up...

Friday, February 13, 2009

Kitty Litter Cake...literally

This Valentine's cake cracked me up!!! It looks like it was decorated by my cat, with a special "present" on top. Happy Valentine's to my sister, who will get the biggest kick out of this!!!

Thursday, February 5, 2009


Last night's nailbiter at Arkansas was unbelievable! Way to go, Vols! It seems like our close games in the earlier weeks of the season -- several ending in a frustrating loss -- prepared us to go the other way now and finish up those tight ones with a WIN. I'm sure there's lots of good stuff still ahead. Don't count us out yet (Randy Frye).

Monday, February 2, 2009

So SUV me

I drive an SUV (albeit a normal sized one, when I'm not driving the family 1 ton pick-up truck). My lifestyle dictates that I must drive a car that I can fit all my horse gear in, and the occasional dog or two. Celia Rivenbark debates the need for SUV ownership very entertainingly. I'm definitely an SUV/truck driver out of necessity, but don't think for one second that if I could walk into a Ford dealership today and drop $60,000 on this truck, just because it's gorgeous to behold, that I wouldn't. Because, I totally would.

As one [ethicist] explained it, "If you buy an SUV, you're buying your safety at the expense of someone else's." Well, yes. And your point would be? Sorry. I know that's not the PC reaction, but let's face it. If you're driving a Hyundai, which basically runs on air and tofu, and you get in an accident with an SUV, are you going to say, "Well, at least I have the courage of my convictions"? Hell, no. You're going to say, "Soon's I get outta this hospital bed and find my legs, I'm gonna get me a Suburban. Loaded." Why should I apologize for wanting to buy the safest family vehicle I honestly cannot afford? It's the American way. -- Celia Rivenbark, We're Just Like You, Only Prettier

Friday, January 30, 2009

Tennessee + Politicians = DRAMZ!!

This has now escalated into just more and more ridiculousness down in Nash-vegas. Jeez Louise. And, this has just become an interesting little bit of Tennessee history. I just love my home state. Why on earth would I ever think of leaving it for little ole boring South Carolina??? Stay classy, Tennessee!

Thursday, January 29, 2009

"They're simply outdoorsy..."

This post on my favorite blog cracked me up! I love the one with the Bronco going up the side of it, and the blogger's caption: "We are gathered here today to join this man, this woman, and this truck in holy matrimony." Hilarious!

Monday, January 26, 2009

For the birds

I'm always trying to help the birds that make their homes around my house. I feed them, watch over them, and enjoy their company. It's nice to see that there are others out there who find value in the animal/avian kingdom just as much as I do. No good deed should go unnoticed.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Separated at Birth

Doesn't Will Farrell kind of resemble a young George Washington? Am I right?

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Keeping Mum

My former high school and college classmate, Tennessee House Republican Leader Jason Mumpower, is stirring the turd in Nashville this week! I hope he didn't release that memo out of vindictive reasons for losing the House Speaker designation. Politics!

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Something's out there

This story was in our newspaper here in Knoxville this week. I know my sister will get a kick out of this, as we are both big fans of the Travel Channel's "Ghost Adventures" show and we get very into it. Maybe Zak, Nick, and Aaron need to come try deer hunting in Tennessee!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009


Today is a day for history. Let's celebrate and get excited for change!

"Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek." -- Barack Obama

Monday, January 19, 2009

January 19, 1809

Happy 200th Birthday, Eddy (not to be confused with the other much-beloved Eddie)!!!

Thursday, January 15, 2009


I have a woodpecker that lives near my house. He really likes the big maple tree at my neighbor's, but occasionally I see him sneaking a snack at my backyard birdfeeder. He isn't as social as the cardinals so I don't see him that much, but I like it when I walk out my front door to feed horses in the morning or to walk to my car to leave for work and I hear him pecking away at a tree nearby. He's a busy little bee, especially in the winter. Gotta get those bugs!

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Well...that sucked.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Celebrity Food For Thought

I like Gwyneth Paltrow. I don't always agree with her 100% (she is kind of out there sometimes), but I do agree with her taste in music and musicians. Ok, that's not what this is really about, but I can't think of Gwyneth without recognizing who her baby-daddy is. :-)

I'm not completely endorsing her new site here, but it is interesting and I'll keep checking it out and see where it leads.